Losing it
by Mei0x
Summary: Bella and Edward are alone in Bella's room, like they normally are. But Edward is after something this time. Temptation or Commonsense? Which will Bella give in to? After all, he is there until she orders him away. Or will she keep to her vow of 'never?
1. Intentions

**A/N hi! Its my first time writing a fan fic, so be nice! Disclaimer: I don't own anything of Stephenie Meyer's **

"Y-You can't so suddenly...N-No please..." I stuttered hopelessly "E-Edward...Edward" The one person in this world whom without everything was nothing and nothing became everything. I was crazily and uncontrollably in love with him, you see. And right now, he was showing his feelings through- actions.

"Bella."His breath making all the tiny hairs on my neck, stand up and shake. "I'm sorry, I lost control" He told me, guiltily.

He finally released me from is seductive control and got up.

"What do you mean 'You lost control'?" I asked, confused

"Well I lost control of myself - but I don't think I lost control _that_ way." He added to assure me.

"I'm just still trying to get over the fact, that a boy- well sort of- wants to-well you know-with me" I mumbled to myself mostly than to him. Especially a boy that looked like well, Edward.

"You don't know how many wanted to on your first day at school."

"You're right, I don't" I told him with as much dignity as I could since I was blushing tomato red. He chuckled quietly "But, what if I didn't tell you not to?" I said. I wondered what he would say. Edward wasn't the average boy. And the average boy usually turned out to be a right jerk. Only interested until his needs were fulfilled. I had no experience of course, but you still watch enough TV to know. And why was he taking so long to answer?  
"Tick tock tick tock" I hurried him, I was very curious now

"Hmm, what do you mean?" He smiled

So I tried phrasing it another way, as seriously as i could "What if, I encouraged you?"

"Well, lets say Charlie might have woken up, unless you're quite but I wouldn't know tha-" He said amazingly casually

"Okay, okay. No details, please" I cut him off. I could tell I was probably flushing, since Edward was like my Non-Human blush detector. He 'liked' it when I blushed, as he told me once, if I was dead, it would be one of the things he would miss seeing. I know for sure, that it would not be one of the things I would miss_ doing_.

**If you want me to write more please tell me!! **


	2. Day before Valentines day

Day before Valentines Day 

Its my most 2nd hated day of the year(it used to be 1st but now its 2nd since now I hate my birthday, until i become a vampire). Even though I should like it in my present situation. But my present situation (my present situation being, that a) I have a 'boyfriend' - and an incredibly good looking, handsome, beautiful, graceful, and just all round amazing, one too b) We are in le love!) but those things just make everything even worse. I dont know if Edward is going to do anything .. 'special' and if he is I certainly dont want him to. Actually, that depends on what it is he's going to do. But then he could do anything.  
No no no no no no. He wouldn't do that. But then he tried to last night. Yeah well, if he tries again I'll fight him off and tell him to go away. I mean, if he's going to refuse on turning me into a vampire then he must know humans have to sleep. Hahaha that should leave him speachless. But there's no hope in fighting him off, he's a million times stronger than me. Oh. That brought back a not so nice flashback. When Edward broke off the two foot thick branch and gently said "as if you could fight me off"

And then theres Mike...and Jacob. Maybe I could runaway for a few days and then come back saying "I got lost". It's really sad because no one would question that.

Okay I now have an unexplainable disease. One problem with that. Carlisle is a doctor (why oh why that profession?!) and Edward will get worried and fuss over me, and may use this as an opportunity to use methods of relief that should not be seen by young children.

I know one thing for sure. Edward has something planned, Emmet kept grinning at me today and when I asked him why he was about to reply, but Edward gave him a 'look'.

Im going to go take some drugs and go to sleep because this is making my head spin and Edward does that to me enough times a day.

"Bella" a soft voice called to me

"Why, Edward, I was wondering when you were going to come out from the shadows and grace me with your divine presense"

"Haha. Now, come over here" he beckoned me to the rocking chair. I was hesitant. My heart said Yes, but my head said no - my song lyric logic right now.

"Whats wrong, my love?" He whispered gently. I was speechless (what do i tell him- that on the day of love i don't want him to do anything special well, i dont mind special just not special special. urgh. Im too selfish). I decided to distract him.

Hahahahaha. Just-moments-ago-created-plan-A, Mike.

"I was just think about...Mike" I said as lightly as i could, trying very hard not to emphasise the name 'Mike'

Anger and hurt flashed in his eyes. God i love you. I know i may seem selfish being happy to see hurt and anger, in the one i love most in the world, wonderful topaz eyes but, Its for him.  
I just want to be ready that day, when we..

Charlie will kill me if he finds out what im thinking about and who im thinking about doing it with WHEN IM READY. Yes. That is my decision and its final. Nothing will change i-

Hang on. Somethings touching me. And that something is Edward. I'd recognise those pale, perfect hands anywhere. He kissed my neck.

"Wakey, Wakey Day-dreamer" he murmured, his cool breath gently blowing on my skin. I closed my eyes and sighed. I was so close to making it a final decision...


	3. In the toilets

**Thanks to all the people that reviewed**

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**And im relli sorry about being away (if you were waiting) but math homework sucks compared to writing stories about Edward (sighs at the fact he's not real) and Bella XD**

**Review please! **

"Lets go outside" I said cheerily, remembering the reason I said that.

Flashback

"Owww, im soo tired, i can't wait till im a vampire and i dont feel tired anymore" I said, knowing the fact Edward - my BOYFRIEND mwhahahaha, sorry - would get mad at me. But its the truth. He just arched a perfect eyebrow and sat down on the bed next to me.

"We are on the bed" He said smiling. How, he's smiles make me want to faint... NO WAIT WHAT DID HE JUST SAY? NO FAINTING. Non. No. Nein.

"You were quick to point that out" I added trying very hard not to sound nervous. He leaned in, our faces just millimetres apart from touching.

"Bella, I feel strange" His breath making to me fall on the bed from dizziness (sp?) He leaned over me, oh crap...

Back from the flashback

"No, I want to stay here with you" He persisted

"But Edwar-"

"Kiss me Bella, and make it a long one...please?" ON THE BED?! I debated whether this was safe and went with yes.. if anything gets out of hand, i'll...i'll..scream?

"Umm okay" I whispered mostly to myself. And straight after that 'okay' his lips were on mine, on the bed. But I couldnt think of anything except for the fact that he was kissing me. I moved my hands to his back and he pressed his body against mine, but being careful of course. I never wanted him to let go of me, even for a second. I couldnt see the reason to hold my feelings back, I loved him and he loved me whats the problem?  
But someone had to be responsible. Pushing him gently away was probably the most difficult thing i've ever done. Chosing Math homework over not doing any ever again would be easier (A/N I couldnt think of anything else, sorry! But this is in the Humor section so laugh guys!)

"Bella whats wrong?" He spoke softly to me, the hurt in his eyes wasn't overlookable (A/N a word?!)

"No, but im eighteen, and if we get carried away. I'll be the one who gets sent to jail for underaged sex. Not you." I explained, hopefully he'll laugh and forget the fact that im a coward. Im not scared of the thing with him being a vampire (who cares about that?).

"Haha. Bella if youre scared about me hurting you, I promise ill be careful" How i wanted to say yes!

"But Charlie's a cop!" I complained

"But Charlies not here" He reminded me

"Dammit. Plan G" Yes, i had got up to the letter_ G_ with my plans.

"Plan.._G_"

"Yes. I shall go outside and find a hiding place where you can't find me" .

"Well, if that is what my love wishes to do then..ill count to ten" He was having fun.

"Make it 20." I said

"15"

"Fine" I agreed. This was going to be interesting.Oh crap, oh crap, where do i hide?

"If I find you, will you agree to...?" He called from my room. No need to finish to sentence, i see.

"No" I replied, is sex all he thinks about? I sighed. And I thought Edward was different.

School.

He found me. I tried hiding under the kitchen table. And then we started kissing under the table. And very nearly did it under the table. But luckily Charlie came back and Edward had to vanish.

I was talking to Jessica and Angela in the girls toilets earlier..

Yet another flashback XD

"Bella, umm you and Edward have been together for quite some time now.." She said, unable to hide the disbelief in her voice. Chee, thanks!

"Umm, Yeah! We have havent we?" I said trying to sound indifferent

"Well, me and Angela have been wondering.. err have you and Edward.. you know" She said eagerly. Clearly this was something she really badly wanted to know. Too bad I didnt have a clue what she was talking about.

"Erm, what are you asking?" I said, utterly confused

"Jess wants to know if you and Edward have had sexual intercourse" See?! This is why I like Angela, theres no messing around with her.

"Nope"

"What?!" They very nearly screamed in unison

"Why.. is that bad?" Oh no, was that bad?!

"No..of course its not bad!" Angela reassured me

"But are you going to?" Jess couldnt help herself from asking

"No.." I wondered off

"So he hasnt asked?" Jess pressed on

"No, he has asked" One too many times.

"Why did you say no!!!!!???? I mean,_ Edward Cullen_?!" So at least we know _Jess _would have said yes!

"Don't you think it's kinda scary the way he asks?" I know I found it scary.

"No Bella, youre right when youre ready, only then..." Angela said

**Mwhahahahahahahahahaha... erm, sorry this is late again BUT today is New Years Day! (for me since im a hindu) Sooo... **

**Happy New Year :D**

**I will update soon! Edward has to get drunk at SOME point! - and if you dont like that idea too shame because i can imagine him drunk hahahahahahaha sorry.**

**Much love even to the haters x**


	4. New feelings

**Hi guys! About the Edward being drunk thing.. yeah I know it cant happen. BUT It would be funny. I think its funny. But then im weird. Well, im always in a weird mood when I write these fan fics! I am working on a very serious one though, it should (Hopefully) be vair romantique. This chapter is quite short (sorry if you wanted a long one!) , but women can be very scary, as Kenshin (dont worry if you dont know who he is) once said. And I dont wanna find out if that applies to the Math teachers. Ciao!**

"Hahahahahaha" I couldn't stop laughing it was THAT funny! "Isabella, what happened to you today"

"Promise you won't get mad"

"Ok"

"I ummm ran into Mike, erm literaly, and then"

He rolled his eyes. But I just carried on giggling.

"Bella?" My, my! Who turned into Mr. Impatient?

"Oh yeah..." And I continued..

_XD Flashbackk (sorry I keep writing these!)_

"Crap, Who did I fall on?!" I moaned

"Me" Faithful golden retriever voice, recongise it anywhere. Uh oh. Im so lucky Edward isn't here, if he saw the postions Mike and I were in right now..Mike would have to go into witness protection. Honest.

"Mike! Oh! Im so sorry" I said quickly getting up

"Oh its fine.. umm Bella?"

"Yes?" Please let him not ramble on for hours. I want to see Edward!!

"W-Would you like to umm go see a movie..tonight" I'd rather him rambling on for hours now!

"Ka?" Wtf?! Ka??!!! He looked at me like I was an alien from planet Zob.

"Is that a Ye-?"

"NO! I mean..No...Edward.." I said shaking my head, gosh i felt so bad. But what was he doing? He knew me and Edward were together..._why?_

"Bella" He said taking me hand "I'll wait for you" Then he gently let go of my hand, and walked away from me.

xoxoxoxoxoxox

Looking back, I found it hilarious! But then I looked at Edward. Uh oh, angry vampire alert. Edward was growling, wow he has such a sexy growl..it kinda turns me on...Wtf?! Bella, now is not a great time to lose it.

"Edward, I have no idea what was going through his head..but i love YOU. Y-o-u, okay"

"Yes, but he asked you to wait for him" He added angrily

"Yes I know" I said dreamily

"Bella! Why are you blushing?"

"Me? Blushing?"

"Yes"

"Oh it was probably something you did" Now, that was very easy to believe.

He stared at me for a moment before settling back down. I sighed, I liked it when we were like this..but then I didn't. Huh? Why's that?

"Okay, go to sleep. We will talk in the morning"

"Hmmm.. Mike.." I mumbled before drifting to sleep.

Edward POV

"Bella? Did you say.. Mike?"

Noones POV

But she didn't answer, because she was already asleep.

**Ohhh!! I love, love triangles! Teeheehee XD We were reading Jane Eyre today, and there are perverted scenes in JANE EYRE. Yes. Like, "She stood erect" and I know that means she stood tall or something but its funny right?! AND "He ajaculated" hahahaha XD AND OMG. Mr Rochester right? HES CALLED EDWARD. I LOVE JANE EYRE NOW!! And we were reading that really passionate scene, and I was just sitting there in love. Even if Mr. Rochester is meant to be really ugly or whatever, you can IMAGINE Edward. Awwwrrr!!!**

**Thanks to everyone that reviewed and keep reviewing!!! **


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